READING, Pa. — Life brings many hardships, and you can either let those hardships make or break you, says 19-year-old Jaquan “Jay” Harley. Jay faced many hardships in life from the passing of family members to being bullied for his sexuality to being told he would not be able to do what he wanted. He did not let them break him however. They gave him a big heart and a love for helping others, founding his career choice and the things he loves to do.
A student at Albright College, Jay studies as a biology major with a minor in Spanish. He explained that he picked biology because he likes science and helping people. He started the minor in Spanish because he likes it and learning about new places and people. “The best way for me to continue helping and learning about others is through the medical field,” he said.
Catina Butler, Jay’s mother, explained that when he was growing up, she knew he was going to study something that involved helping others. “He’s a people person,” she said in an interview over the phone. “He gets along with everyone and he’s very caring.”
She shared a story of a time in Jay’s childhood when another child was being bullied. She said that Jay was the one to go up to the bully and tell him what he was doing wasn’t OK. “He always cares about other people and he always helps as much as he can,” Butler said. “The time that we lost his brother, he said ‘Ma, I can’t see people pass away again, so I want to help to keep people alive.’ It’s in his spirit to care for other people.”
Jay said that he had many hardships in life. He lost his older brother when he was 15 years old and his grandmother while he was in elementary school. The loss of his brother made it very difficult for his mother when he went off to school.
Butler said that she felt a lot of separation anxiety when Jay left for school. Jay’s parents are separated, so after the loss of his brother, Jay was her only child left. In addition to this, she was worried about him because the world was not an accepting place.
Jay identifies as gay, adding more struggles to that of the loss of family members. He explained that he had always felt different growing up because he was black and gay. “I was already two minorities,” he said. “I always felt like people looked at my sexuality instead of what I can do.”
Knowing that he was not like the other kids put him at a disadvantage, explained Jay. He said that his teachers would ostracize him from the other students and that other children would run from him. He played with the girls because the boys would bully him and was called derogatory terms all throughout middle and high school.
Jay said that he is happy now because, in college, no one really cares about his sexuality. “Everyone is more accepting,” he said. “I’m just glad I was strong enough to persevere through the hard times.”
Jay explained that another thing that made him continue with his major was being told that he couldn’t. His stepmother told him that he wasn’t good enough to do what he wants in life, as did his high school counselor. “I maybe did it out of spite,” he said. “I want to show them that I can do it.”
Jay explained that he wants to represent all the young African American boys who think they aren’t good or smart enough to get into college and do well or become a doctor. He says that it is possible for them if they work hard, are determined and can persevere.
“When I was growing up, I didn’t have anyone to look to for education,” he explained. “My dad dropped out of high school and my mom only got her associates.” He wants to be able to show others that he can get an education and can do what he wants in life even though it was something he didn’t see much in his life. He explained that he grew up around a lot of drugs and gang violence. He wondered why people were doing such bad things. “Just go to school,” he said in response to those in gangs. “School’s gonna get you out and you’re turning to drugs. You’re selling drugs and killing. For what?”
Jay said that he aspires to be a family practitioner, which is a pediatrician and an internist combined, with his education. He explained that he likes his major because he learns something new every day. Although, he said, there are times where he feels like he can’t get past an obstacle.
Jay said that his greatest weakness is self-doubt. He’d hate himself for doing badly on an exam or quiz, wouldn’t feel motivated enough at times, or he’d think he won’t get through college. He explains that he always ends up pushing through, thanks to his friends and family. He said that taking a mental break, putting everything away, and then coming back to it was really helpful. “I tell myself, ‘You can do this and you will do this,” he said.
Caleb Goslin, Jay’s partner, explained that Jay does panic a lot over his work. He said that although Jay doesn’t typically bring this issue around Caleb, he does see it.
Caleb strives to help Jay feel better about himself and motivate him when he begins to doubt himself. “I tell him ‘You’re overthinking. Stop. You’ll be fine. You’re smarter than you think,” Caleb said.
According to the couple, Caleb and Jay have been dating for almost nine months, making it the longest relationship Jay has been in. Caleb said that he first saw Jay at last semester’s Roop Hall Drag Race on campus, but they did not start talking until a few days later when Caleb messaged him on Instagram.
“It was Jay as a person — his aura — that drew me to him,” Caleb said. “I love Jay because he is caring. He’s nice and very smart.” Caleb also explained that he loves to see Jay’s artistic side. He finds it interesting because people are artistically different and he loves to see Jay expressing himself through art.
Jay explained that his preferred art forms were theatre, song and dance. He said that he realized that he liked theatre when he saw “High School Musical” for the first time. “As corny as it sounds, when I first watched it, I wanted to sing just like the actors and dance like Corbin Bleu,” he said.
He sings and dances because he likes it and finds it fun, he said. It is a way for him to relieve stress. “I like the arts because something is so freeing when you are on stage,” he explained. “You can stop being yourself for a moment and be someone else. For just a moment, I can forget about what’s troubling me and just do what I want.”
Jay explained that even though he loves the arts, it isn’t practical for him and what he wants to do in life. He said that he stuck with biology because his future is science and what he wants to do in life is science through medicine.
Still, Jay managed to work arts into his time at Albright College. He explained that although he had always loved the arts, he didn’t really get into it until college. He debuted in theatre in the Domino Player productions of “Mosaic” and “A Raisin in the Sun.” The latter received nine national Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival awards, according to a news release on the website.
Jay is involved in many organizations on campus including the Domino Players, the college’s honors program, two Greek life organizations, a peer orientation person (POP), a Lion Diplomats member and Tri-Beta — a biology honors club on campus.
Jay is the vice president of communications for Alpha Sigma Phi and a brother of Alpha Phi Omega, a community service organization. He said that he joined Greek life on campus because he wanted to get a sense of brotherhood. He said that he thought he’d be a great asset to the fraternities because he believed in and exemplified some of their core values.
Jay specified that he liked the organizations core values of charity, leadership and silence. He sees himself as a leader, as well as believes strongly in confidentiality and sees himself as trustworthy. Lastly, he loves giving back to his community and does it often. “I like volunteering because giving back to people and the community is really gratifying to me,” he explained.
On campus, Jay is also a member of Lion Diplomats. Within this organization, and his Greek life associations, Jay does community service. He volunteered during the college’s Homecoming festivities by driving alumni around campus, wrote birthday cards for incoming freshmen, and participated in Pond-a-Thon — an event where members stay in the campus’ pond for a specific amount of time to raise money for a particular cause. He has also been a part of Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, another fundraising event to stop rape, sexual assault and gender violence.
Jay’s volunteer work doesn’t stop on campus. He also volunteers with the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) working in shelters and helps out at a food bank. He works with dogs, washing, feeding, walking and playing with them and giving them love, he said.
At the food bank he helps with organization of the donations. He places the food in compartments and categorizes them, he explained.
Jay said that if he could be anything other than a doctor, it would be a teacher. “I love kids and teaching them,” he explained. “I was happy they could learn something from me.”
He switched from the education field because he felt he was running out of patience for children, however, he still liked working with children so he stuck with being a pediatrician.
Jay has many goals and dreams, however, one dream he says has already been realized. He got to visit his dream country, France. During this trip he realized that he loved traveling and is now planning on attending a study abroad trip to Costa Rica in the interim session.
“I have had many hardships in life, all of which have made me who I am,” Jay said. “Now, my goals and dreams are to graduate college and get accepted into medical school.” He wants to complete his residency and fellowship, buy his mother a nice car, and live a happily married life.
Deborah Afolabi 